I was just pacing my apartment

A minute ago, rather furiously too I might add. I didn't even realize I had been pacing for a full minute or so, as I was brainstorming equally furiously.

I re-read some old journal entries and one page chronicled how bored I was in that particular point in my life. This was in the fall of 2010, when I was a sophomore at Oral Roberts University, studying graphic design. My actual words went something along the lines of: "I feel like I have nothing to be excited about in my life."

Of course I had some cool things going on, mainly my upcoming mission to Brazil (which was amazing of course), but I can only live one week at a time after all. I'm no stranger to being bored, of course, I always tell people I'm easily bored. Not to mention, Tulsa is an immensely, well, boring town. This was before I had decided that I was going to transfer to AiC and pursue what I really wanted to.

I look back and chuckle, because I feel that statements and thoughts like that over a period of time was almost like I was daring God to actually do something about it. And here I am, good job Buck.

Anyways, to get to the point of this post before I lose you, the reason I am awake at 4:50am when I have a 7:30am class is because I am excited. I longboard and recently my friend coerced me into learning to power-slide. I've wanted to learn how to for quite a while now of course, in my pursuit of pushing the sport, but to be honest I was mildly terrified of the prospect. Power-sliding is such an intense adaptation of the sport, it's almost as if you're defying the very construction and purpose of the longboard while doing it. And it's dangerous. I assumed I would get to it sometime next year-ish.

But what really has plagued me with insomnia yet again, is an idea I have whizzing around in my head for a pair of sliding gloves. It's a common piece of equipment for advanced riders who enjoy sliding. The construction is basically a work glove, with a polymer (usually) 'puck' velcroed onto the palm, and sometimes on the fingers. They allow the rider to get nice and intimate with the pavement and yet keep it all business. Anyways, gloves professionally manufactured cost anywhere from $35 to $80, and I'm a poor college student. I used a pair of work gloves I've had laying around in my closet for our sliding session the other night. They ripped on the third slide.

I've heard of people DIYing their own pair of gloves using anything from chunks of granite to slabs of cutting board. Being the industrial design major (not to mention a man) I of course set out to research how to make my own pair. My mistake was doing that tonight.

Instructables.com is quite the addicting website if you let it pull you in. So of course I spent the next hour and half (this was at midnight) looking at longboard related Instructables. What I found inflamed my brainstorming center so intensely that now I'm not just planning on making the gloves, but I eventually want to make my own longboard deck, press and all (the press gives it a concave profile). Anyways, I'm actually considering pursuing this glove project to the degree of making it my capstone project. I may recant that later.

To return to my beginning thesis, I would like to again expound upon something I'm really quite good at making. Mistakes. When I wrote that journal entry I had no idea what I was sacrificing in exchange for more 'excitement'. I've learned this past year (gosh, I can't believe it's been that long) that having true friends around you is worth it's weight in gold. My friends are like family to me.

I've been told by a couple people from ORU, when I was leaving, that just because I'm moving doesn't mean I will have a change in support structure. Well, yes, but I'm afraid it doesn't quite work that way. A phone call doesn't quite equate to a hearty sit-down.

Bottom line. Keep your friends close, and don't ask God for something you can't handle. He might just do it.

-Buck the Undead Dragon

More Visual Pandering

I happen to be halfway creative from time to time. Lately I've been doing a fair amount of sketching, Digital and otherwise, and I have to be honest with you; I am having a blast with it! It's one of the few things I get to do in school that isn't tedious. Here is some of what I'm talking about.

I love this one, it's actually not even finished. I'm planning to market it as a climbing gear backpack. The assignment was to create a soft good, and thats something I never expected to enjoy, but I rather like it.

The drawing in the lower right corner was the original drawing, and it's shamelessly goofy. But thankfully I realized it was a piss-poor drawing and drew another.

Ok this isn't an exceptional drawing by any means (sci-fi assignment) but I would like to draw your attention to the tracks. Those are some good looking tracks right? I think so.

And this was my first digital sketch; it's what got me hooked.

Perhaps this next drawing is my favorite to date.

Sketching is addicting.
Hey while you're at it, check out my photobucket. Most of my old photoshop work is on there so it's like a time machine into my creative life!

Tonight I was thinking about

A girl I had a crush on for a rather long time. It was a slow smoldering interest, and I never pursued it for reasons both in and beyond my control (although I still nurtured some hope). I know her heart, as we spent some time together in close proximity, so I know her potential. However her actions and lifestyle today don't reflect a life on fire for God (but then the same could probably said about me) that I saw in her.

I have always wondered why she chooses this lifestyle. There's a myriad of social perks to be sure. Perhaps the idea of changing the way she takes on the world is too daunting a task, on account of the friends she may lose. Others still may say she is even running away from God.

But I think it's a little more simple than that. Be aware this is purely speculation. I think she is simply living the way she wants to. The fact is God's plans for her just aren't at the forefront of her plan. I know this because I catch myself walking down this path time and time again.

My generation has been implanted with a desire to follow in our parents footsteps (an impossibility due to the immense social and economic changes wrought from generation to generation), and settle down, find love, make a career for ourselves, and live the easy life. The baby boomers by-and-large lived that out. Our country saw a relative period of economic leisure during the 90's, in which time I grew up. I believe that decade is a large reason why the aforementioned influence is prevalent in my mindset.

This post isn't about that girl that I knew who eluded me for so long. I certainly will never criticize anyone in writing without due cause. It's about worldviews, and deep seeded desires. We all have them. And in the end we will be asked to surrender them completely.

God asks us to give up our lives and follow him. The extremity of that request is still shocking to me, but my heart longs to do just that. At an Ignite conference I helped organize at ORU, Matthew Barnett said "We must die to our dreams of success."

Those words struck true with me and still do. God's plans are so much bigger than anything we can cook up on our own, let alone achieve. Certainly I'm not advocating that we crush anyone's dreams, some of them may surely be planted by God. What I'm getting to, is that God is in complete control, and His plans will come to pass. Do you understand what I'm saying? The almighty sovereign God will make sure our lives carry out to His will. That excites me, as I hope it does you, because I've received some hints that His plans for me are Huge-well beyond my wildest dreams.

To close please take anything I write with a grain of salt, I'm no theologian and I haven't researched any of my statements in great length. This is for the most part just off the top of my head. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

-Buck Beymer, Happy New Year!

My Thoughts For The Day

And that's about it...

Bsquared Design

It's about time to put some artwork on here as I've been meaning to for a while. I FINALLY finished my finals, and barring another near meltdown as I experienced this afternoon, I should be good to go after Thursday. All of these were done in the past two quarters.






retro video game illustration, I've become vaguely interested with emulating retro designs lately for some reason.


this is just silly


A fish tie - that's just really silly


And I'm rather pleased with this one. texture credits go to Anna Coffman, she takes amazing texture photos!


the onesie credit goes to Cole Proffitt

So obviously not all of these are meant to be portfolio material, but hopefully some of you enjoy them for what they are as I do. Happy Holidays!

Today I was wondering

Why the Battle we fight is such a hard one; specifically why is it so hard to lead a focused and balanced spiritual life as well as juggling everyday tasks. I'm in the throes of finals now and it's nigh impossible to keep on point with schoolwork. Then it dawned on me that we fight a two front battle. We're distracted from our spiritual life so often because our livelihood is clamoring for attention.

But the kicker is as we neglect our spiritual life to attack the counterpart, we find ourselves struggling even more. Oh, how powerless we are without His grace. I recognize (for those theologically minded who can find loopholes in my argument) of course that the two are inexorable weaving in and out of each other. The purpose of this note is merely to temporarily separate the two as white and yolk to point out the differences in a unified body.

Take Hitler's war, on one front was the Brits and Yanks, and at the backdoor Russia was slowly pounding it's way in. The World war is considered as a whole in our days, but I would bet Hitler didn't see it so singularly. Just something to think on.

-Buck Beymer

Lets say I believe

In a higher purpose, sometimes in more things than we see on the surface level. My night tonight was rather boring, so I took an idea a good friend started and went on a midnight adventure.

Now if you know anything about denver, perhaps you have heard or deduced yourself that colfax ave is a pretty sketchy place. And in parts I wont deny it surely is. Nevertheless, that is where my adventure tonight took place.

I longboard a lot, I find it relaxing at times, and exhilarating when needed. Every man needs something to do that at any point could go badly wrong. So I'm longboarding down the crappy sidewalk of Colfax, when I happen upon the long dead site of a crash. There's twisted remnants of fiberglass all along the side of the street, and even in the middle of the side street.

I think, "this is great(not the crash part), I can potentially save someone a lot of trouble by removing this urban flotsom from the street. So I do. I keep going. A couple times I stopped at intersections, wondering if I should keep going. I decided eventually to keep going down to Colorado Blvd.

When I got to Colorado, I saw an open convenience store, and as its getting a bit chilly here in early september, decided to go in and get a cappucino. I do so, pay the friendly indian man, use the restroom, and go on my way again.

As I'm walking back towards the intersection, I hear someone call out "austin". Now, its still weird being addresses thus, but it happens enough that I've learned to react to it. So I turn around, and see Hank, we'll call him, a guy I'm acquainted with in my building.

Hank is waiting at the bus stop, he says he's headed downtown to meet up with some people, he hopes. Now to be plain and open, I find Hank to be A Real Nice Guy. Someone who most people regard as pleasant, and very kind. All good qualities.

I wont get into exactly how a man should be viewed and behave, as I'm sure I'll get into that later. But all of this is to say I believe I went and did something bold, in search of a fight in a way, and God gave me what I wanted. In a roundabout God sort of way of course.

You see, that hasnt been the only time I've run into hank outside of my apartments; I saw him briefly at the grocery store one day. And when I see him around home I wonder on many occassions, why he's such a nice guy. Although I've no problem with these qualities, as I've said before, a man needs a little danger to keep his heart alive. Who told him he had to be a Nice Guy?

I feel a certain draw to Hank, is what I guess I'm trying to say. And I wonder if it wouldnt be too prudent to strike up a conversation and query these theories. I wouldnt be surprised if God wasnt laying him on my heart, but I'm also loathe to overspiritualize anything.

Those are my questions for the night.
p.s. If you havent already, I encourage you to read at least a little of my first two posts; they provide insight as to the purpose of this blog.